I've often said I realize I am spoiled. Being an only child of older parents born in the late 50's, I never wanted for anything ~ anything material. I wanted a lot, but not really more stuff. I wanted a big, older brother. I wanted more friends (although I had more than I deserved). I wanted to make my parents proud (ok, more proud than I could imagine). But more than anything, I wanted peace. Contentment. Acceptance: Peace. Why is that one item so many of us want, but never know how to attain? Peace. Perfect peace. Mostly, peace with who we really are, not who we think we want to be.
In 1977, I met a young airman at Bergstrom AFB. He was a fun and funny guy and we just hit it off well. He was a coworker of my 1st husband and after the husband wasn't a husband anymore, I sort of naturally migrated away from Steve. Oh, there was the typical Christmas card exchanges: nothing more. Then 3 years ago, we connected again - and Cassidy and I found ourselves celebrating a Chicago Cubs win at Wrigley with Steve and Gina. Friends... as in keeping old and making new, silver and gold. We've met up again a couple of more times - enjoying each opportunity. Fast forward to July 14, 2015. Gina and I flew into NYC (from Chicago and DFW) for a fast 2 days of laughing, walking, show watching and 9-11 Museum contemplating. For a couple of quickly made girlfriends, you would have never guessed how much we enjoyed the trip, and each other.
We were only on the ground for about 30 hours - but enough time to walk Hell's Kitchen for a couple of meals, ride the Staten Island Ferry, see Jim Parsons do a (practically one man) 90 minute monologue Broadway comedy show, and spend several hours at the 9-11 Memorial/Museum. We talked as we walked, as we rode (subway, bus, ferry), as we ate, as we waited. And we learned that we are so much more alike than we knew last week. We want the best and the most for our kids. We want to work a few more years, retire comfortably and be able to entertain grandchildren while parents catch a breather. We want to remember the good times, remember our youth, remember those who we love and miss. And we don't want to admit we are getting old(er).
Counting this trip, I have been to NYC 24 times and seen 22 Broadway shows plus several Radio City Music Hall Christmas and Spring Shows. One recent trip, the pedometer registered over 30,000 steps and 17 miles in less than 10 hours. THAT record will probably stand. Because after that, I was tired. More tired than any other time I can remember (ok, unless you count the Saturday many of us walked 20 miles the Saturday before Junior Prom for some MDA or similar cause in blistering South Texas heat in about 6 hours).
Oh, the feet ached that night - but thanks to 800 Mg of Advil and Lindy's miracle Epsom Salts and HOT water in a plastic tub, I was able to sleep. And put shoes on the next day. Another friend that I am blessed to have. Another reason I was able to spend so many nights in NYC for free - on a futon they called "mine", in a NYC apartment that I had my own set of keys to. Yes, spoiled for sure. Who else can fly to LaGuardia, get a M60 bus/Subway pass on the A train to the 207th St Stop for $2.50, and sleep for free? Yes, spoiled extraordinaire.
But each trip seems to make me more tired. Physically tired. Sometimes, Mentally tired. Often Emotionally tired. The mind wanders more on the return flight: wanting to call my mom to tell her about the trip - what happened - what we saw - where we ate. Although she never saw New York City, she would have loved to talk and hear about it. She knew how much I love it and she would love it because I did. It wanders to Cassidy - my true travel soulmate. The one who has seen and knows NYC almost as much as I do - and who loves it the way I do. The last 5 trips, I have made without her, and I miss her. Oh, there are those friends, that I truly enjoy. But nothing compares to traveling with your adult daughter. We just know each other - how to maneuver between people, how to rush to catch a train, how to check reviews at a restaurant, how to buy Broadway tickets at the TKTS booth, how to get to S'MAC, how to find the Hallal Guys at Rockefeller Center, how to dodge traffic and rain puddles like a pro. And how I miss traveling with her. Oh, the great thing is I can STILL call and talk to her after a trip. We were able to do that today, as I was leaving work, and as she drove home to Offutt AFB from Iowa, watching a best friend's 1 year old baby. But - it's not the same.
Which brings me back to peace. Although a new baby in her house would be anything but peaceful, it would be a peace for her/their heart. As much as she would love seeing more of New York with me, she will be in Nebraska, waiting. She and Jeremy will be amazing parents. They will raise children who know manners, who love and respect adults, who will appreciate sports and be allowed to play them all, and who will honor their God. Spillman children will have fun, will make memories. They will have opportunities, will be true friends and will love people - just like their parents. And I pray they will live in a world of peace. I also pray I will not be too tired to enjoy those grandchildren ~ to play with them, to run and laugh with them, and to show them all the things their mom and I love to do - when traveling - to baseball stadiums, and to New York. And to teach them about their Great Grandmother, who would have spoiled them - just like she spoiled me.. and her granddaughter.
