Family ~ Close and Extended ~ and Tattoos!!

Joel, Tyson, Mom and I have been at a "resort" (i.e. campers and cabins) on Lake Buchanan - near Austin, TX the last two days - just hanging out with family.  Cassidy and Jeremy have been at a different "family reunion"... with Jeremy's family as his younger brother graduates from Mountain View High School, Mountain View, Arkansas.  Yes, there is LOTS of food and drink, LOTS of water to swim and boat in but most of all, there have been LOTS of laughter and "remember when" times.

I am grandchild #3 of 7 - from my mother's parents, and although I never lived in the same town as the others, I find myself wanting to make time to connect with them more than once a year now - (well, at least the girls!)  Although most of us have reached the Fifty year mark, we are missing one - grandchild #6, who died a couple of years ago.  In talking about her tonight, many memories came back - of her growing up - of her difficulties, and of her children.  Her two sisters (grandchildren #2 and 5) were the ones I was closest to when we were growing up - and even today, I feel sad that I wasn't close to Robin - the one we've lost.  I wonder how things would have been different today if she were still here.
Which leads me to.. how different am I?  Or even more difficult to answer:   how accepting am I?

When parents age, we recognize it easily, but when we see ourselves becoming "the next generation", it somehow looks so much different!  How did we get to be so old, and thus responsible? :)
As a side note to the seriousness of most of my posts:  Here are just a couple of pieces of conversations today that keep me smiling - and asking myself.. "How did I get THIS old?"
1) An aunt was talking of my cousin losing one of her "ear screws".  Does anyone else remember before pierced ears, you actually "screwed" the earrings on?
2)  One of my mom's cousins is battling Alzheimers - stage 7 of 10.  His daughter watches every move he makes.  But with a skip in her step, they take the boat out to go fishing.  When he's frustrated that the minnow isn't on the hook, she notices it's not ON the hook - it's on the shank.  But smoothly, she takes the line to "fix the problem" yet tells her dad she's just untangling a knot when he asks what's she's doing.  What a dedicated daughter - who wishes she could "fix" all of his problems.
3)  Grandchild #2 (see above) is going on a mission trip to Ecuador this summer (with her 17 year old son).  At the "meeting time" this afternoon, we vote on where to give a charitable contribution.  This year, we are supporting an orphanage in Ecuador.  Way to go, TJ and Michael!
4) We have a "silent auction" - where we bring items to sell, and the money buys the meat for the potluck, we vote to donate part of it to charity (see #3 above) and it pays for renting the "rec hall" where we meet at the "resort".  I have some extremely talented cousins!! :)  Tim welds a waist high "wok" and stand - for attaching a propane tank to cook outside (we're having eggs and sausage tomorrow for breakfast!).  Ryan wood burns the Texas state seal into a beautiful piece of stained wood.  Each of those items sells for $100 and up!  Terri makes jewelry, Dan makes Salsa, Beth makes jean aprons, Gladys makes potholders and a baby quilt, Debra, Desi and Delaina tie-dye tshirts, and Diane bakes cookies.  Many other items are displayed and the memories last longer than the shopping.  On one of the pieces that involved FIERCE bidding, Brian ends it all with the bid "I surrender."  Way to hang in there Brian.  But your other treasures put a huge dent in your wallet (or should I say, your wife's wallet?)!
5)  The differences in generations becomes more and more evident every year.  We take pictures of each generation, and the older one (my parent's age) gets smaller and smaller.  Time marches on.  So we start with the oldest, then move to my age, then to the ones that include my children's age (which by the way, Tyson is the oldest of that group, and Cassidy is #3) and end with 3 litttle ones - from 4 down to 2.  The funniest part is that one of the "20 something" cousins states when it's their turn... "Now for all the ink....."  (i.e. tattoos).

That one statement says so much.  It takes me back to the wild things WE did at their age - and how our parents rolled their eyes at our choices for clothing and jewelry.  Imagine how much they are shaking their heads at all of the tattoos on their grandchildren! :)  But hearing some aunts (and my mom) talk afterwards, the sweetest words came ~ "I guess it doesn't matter how many tattoos they have - they come visit me and they love me."

I'm beaming - and bursting with awe - that 80 something year old ladies are able to express their displeasure with their grandchildren's "body art" but able to overlook their personal preferences because they love each other.  I'm proud to be a "Talley"... never listed on my birth certificate - never in my name, but always in my bloodline.  I want to be as accepting, and as accepted as our children.  The younger generation spends their money to come here - to this "resort".  They take off work, they cook, they clean, they are responsible - and they enjoy spending time with the "old folks".  And these "old folks" adore them, and the time we DO spend together.  The saddest part is that it's only one weekend a year.  So until next year - it's been great.  Now if we can only slow down that "body art" piece of the reunion.....
(Dedicated to Tyson, Meg, Cassidy, Ryan (Toph), Desi, Delaina, Michael, Wes, Andy, Nicole, Shaun,  Natalie and Erica ~ the generation we will leave this reunion to..)

Post Mother's Day

Being a mom has so many dimensions, and it's one of those "positions" that you have to experience to really understand.  The one recurring thought tho' among all mothers is probably "I wish I could fix... (fill in the blank)".
Recently, I've come to the wide eye realization that no matter how old your children are, you still worry about them, and no matter how old YOU become, your mom still worries about you.  At least that's true of mothers and daughter ~ or maybe of my grandmother and my mom, then my mom and me, and now for Cassidy and me.

When the hustle of the world slows down, I think back to times I know my mom prayed for me, for my children and the decisions we made, the choices we still face, and the people we were deciding and choosing with.  And I begin to pray for my children, and the arrows the world throws at them.

First child is in the process of moving ~ again.  Oh he's moved several times, but this one will probably mean more than all the others combined.  He moved forward 2 years ago - to a future he was so anxious and happy about.  Now he is moving back - with us for the interim until the next apartment is ready, but in a way, moving back to start again.  I remember the feeling of leaving behind memories - good ones and horrible ones, and I pray that he leaves all of the horrible ones on the curb with the trash he leaves behind.  A hurting and heavy heart weighs more than all of the furniture in an apartment ever could.  The mother in me wants to "fix it", but I can't.  Only the one who created him can heal the hurts and mend the heart.

While four of us head south Friday to my mom's family reunion (Joel, Tyson, my mom and I), the second child and her husband head northeast to a graduation.  What an exciting time for them - to be with Jeremy's family as they all celebrate Jordan's high school transition.  But with the miles traveled comes another heavy heart, as storms are on the horizon.  Every person has their personal "fear" and the second child is physically ill over being in storms - especially when driving in them - especially when the vehicle is a truck - especially when the last time they drove to the northeast part of Arkansas in the truck, in a storm, they encountered a slippery road on a curve and met a steel pole.  Another time I wish I could "fix it", but I couldn't then, and I can't "fix" the weather this trip either.  Again, only the One who created her, and who creates the storms can calm the storm within. 

So as both of my children face a storm, I pray that they know they are loved - not only by me, their mother, but by the Father who gave them to me and knows the number of hairs on their head. And as I try to be strong for them, I realize how weak I really am, and how much at times like this, I see how strong my own mother was for me - when I faced the storms within me.  Being with her Sunday, on "Mother's Day" reminded me how precious all of our days are - with our mothers.  I ache for friends who have lost their own moms, or who have mom's that haven't seen the depth of their calling.  And I ache for my own mother, who still misses my grandmother.  Life is strange like that, isn't it?  We want so much to have something on earth that adds up to more than just dust.  Furniture, dishes, trucks and graduations ~ they will all mean nothing one day.  But what about mothers?  Mothers are a different breed - it's more than a position, or a job.  It is not to be accepted lightly for it is a blessing that can not be measured.

I love my mother, and I love being a mom.  I only wish I could do more than love them.  I wish I could make all the eyesight problems, the moving hurts and the storms of life disappear.  I can't.  But I'll always want to do more than I can.  Help me Lord to realize that I can't - but you CAN.

Continue to remind me of your promise:  as David wrote in Psalm 121:

I look to the hills! Where will I find help?  It will come from the LORD,

 who created the heavens and the earth.  The LORD is your protector,

he won't go to sleep or let you stumble. The protector of Israel

doesn't doze or ever get drowsy.

The LORD is your protector, there at your right side to shade you from the sun.

You won't be harmed by the sun during the day or by the moon at night.

The LORD will protect you and keep you safe from all dangers.

The LORD will protect you now and always wherever you go.

Thank you Lord, for that promise.  When my mind wanders (mostly late at night), it's reassuring to know you are awake with me - and will keep me upright.  You know the mother's prayer - for our children - for your children - to follow you with confidence.  Help me to model that better.