Recently...

.... time has been kind.  After the fast pace of summer, September has been a good month.  Oh, not that it's been boring either!  August closed out with a trip to Harlingen for a grandson's birthday party, a quick shopping trip to Mexico, and an afternoon on Padre Island with 3/4ths of my family. 

 Home for a great holiday weekend, and then a fast trip to Colorado with a fun traveling friend!~  I don't think I'd know what to do with a fully planned out trip - with more than a week or so to put in place.  My favorite trips have been the ones where you decide, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we went to....?"  The biggest blessing is that I'm married to an American Airlines instructor - who lets me use all the flight benefits I want.  (Well, maybe not all I want, because I'd "want" to go somewhere every weekend!)  So, the past month has landed me on the beach, and then in the mountains.  The question now is.. "Where to next?"  (Actually, I have October weekends already planned:  Ranger/Angel games this coming weekend, a family wedding in Hearne Oct 9-10, a hopeful trip back to Harlingen the next weekend, a Memorial walk for the Alzheimer's association to honor some very special people, and then a HUGE church garage sale that will take up the entire last week of the month.)    Ah, Fall brings a new energy.

Recently... I've enjoyed 2 relaxing Sundays.  Waking up to 2 cups of coffee (from freshly ground beans), reading the Sunday newspaper and watching football AND the Texas Rangers baseball teams - has been wonderful.  On top of that, I've spent time with a great friend from our days in Llano, had separate meals with family:  i.e. dinner with my son, lunch with my mom and a separate dinner with my daughter and son-in-law.  And to top it all - we sat together in worship, and shared a meal with our friends - and their friends to cap off last night.  I know I am blessed - that I have been given a wonderful life, with wonderful family and friends.  I hope to always remember that - even in the days when it doesn't feel like it - I need to remember it.  "Things" will never replace family and friends.   Proverbs 15 reminds me:   ^"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart."  For those of you reading this - consider this blog a 'cheerful look', because you do bring joy to my heart.

Back to School?

Not me!  The school district where my children went for most of their lives and where I worked for almost 11 years began teacher inservice training today and it brings mixed emotions.  First, it began with convocation held at the church where I work, so I was able to sample just a taste of what I sat through so many times.  Second, so many of my past co-workers and friends included me in the lunch plans - another "taste" of what I experienced for so many years.  And third - I have an excitement for my own child who is part of that world of shaping the world of deaf children, as an employee in this world of education.  It is one more piece of the puzzle that you never can predict how it will fit one day.

Many of the "kids" that I have loved for many years are back on college campuses - either as new freshmen, eagerly beginning orientation, or as returning upperclassmen, who are working to "orient" those new freshmen.  Some are still here - ready to embark on their journey:  some will remain here - for reasons we are yet to understand.  One more will return to her campus - with a slew of hard decisions to make.

The "kids" who have many more days (some years) before graduation would probably say they are sad to see summer go.  Probably sad to see the late nights leave for early morning alarms, sad to see carefree nights turn into homework and projects and sad to begin to feel the stress of growing up that is closing in.    As an extra set of eyes that is watching all of them - I'm thrilled to say I'm proud of them - proud of the people they are becoming and proud of the activities they are choosing to participate in. 

The summer has given me many memories - and I'm anxious to make even more.  I'm ready for some bleacher sitting - to cheer for some volleyball, some football, some basketball, and some amazing band marching. Along the way, I get to witness another family member choosing to marry the girl he loves, and spend another Saturday with some of my closest friends that I've had for most of my life.  I realize we all make choices - some good, some awesome, and some we probably wish we could "do-over".  Right now, I'm choosing to enjoy the calm - excited to be watching my beloved Texas Ranger baseball team, surrounded by 3 dogs that think I'm kinda special, and getting to read as much or as little of the day's news that I want.  The life of a dog... at least our dogs - is enviable.  But then, they don't get to meet and spend time with all those "school" people I do!

Where did I put that Diet Dr. Pepper again?  :)

Ryder... one of the 4 dogs who is in my life....

Summer, NYC, Friends, and Life

I've mentioned here that summers are measured to me by mission trips, and how long our college interns are here.  With July half over, 5 of 7 mission trips are in the books and both JH and HS camps have gone and returned home.  We're down to only a few weeks left with the interns, and before I am ready, school will have started, the Seniors of 2010 will be off on new adventures and the office routine will be back to "normal" (whatever normal is!).  With some new office policies in place, my days of youth mission trips may be over.  I did manage a week in the New Mexico mountains with our high school camp (highs in the 60's, lows in the upper 40's!) and had a rough time coming back to the Texas 95 degree heat. But the week at camp followed another week out of the office - in a completely different setting!

A new trip was added - a (possibly) once in a lifetime trip to New York City.  Putting 13 women aged from 24 to 54 in a 5 bedroom 5 bath, 5 story brownstone in Harlem has more memories, more stories, more laughs and more pictures than you can imagine!  Cassidy, one of her best friends from Harding and I joined 10 other women in sharing this wonderland of a home - in Harlem.  Yes, Harlem!  Flying standby has it's joys (and headaches), and 12 hours before departure from DFW, we found the flights into Laguardia filled with passengers.  Last minute changes found us flying into Newark, NJ but we saw more local fare than everyone else!  :)  Oh, we saw lots more that week - from the Apollo Theatre Amateur Night, to a Comedy Improv show off Broadway - to falling in love with Little Italy (her shopping and food!), eating in Chinatown and TriBeCa, walking through The Bronx and the Bronx Zoo, seeing the city from the Top of the Rock, and from the Staten Island Ferry.  We shopped (and shopped in Midtown, SoHo, the Financial District, Little Italy and more!) and ate (and ate some more). We met the local neighbors, BECAME a neighbor, met great men from Ladder 20 and even experienced the NYPD and one of their helicopters in our backyard and on our street.  Do it all again?  You bet.  Tomorrow?  If only we could - we would!  NEXT year - we'll spend more time in Central Park, more time in Times Square, more time in Harlem, more time meeting the real New Yorkers.  Whatever we do, I'm confident we will still leave - having wanted to do more. 

Rachel made it back to Arkansas, and Cassidy and I (barely) made a flight back to DFW (remember, we fly standby?) - in just enough time to unpack, wash clothes and repack to be on the road to Camp Pine Springs - near Sacramento, NM with 100 campers and sponsors for a week that matches no other.

I don't know what I enjoy about my life more - the time I spend with my family, my friends, and/or my coworkers.  Sometimes, I get extremely lucky and get to be with those people all at the same time.  With the woes of the American people today, I know there is so much pain (loss of job, loss of family, loss of acceptance), but when you have the family of God to walk alongside, it becomes so much more bearable.
This was made evident just today - in many ways.  My church coworker family lamented the unfairness of the banking world with me, I ran into a very special friend from days when Cassidy was in Junior High (that even tho' it's been way too long since we've seen each other - time stood still for just those few moments, and we were back at that retreat where we bonded), and ALL of my immediate family sat at a restaurant table for dinner and just enjoyed being together.  Enjoyed it so much that we moved outside to a picnic table to continue our time together. 

3 John 1:4 is a favorite verse, but I do have another great joy - knowing that my children not only walk in the truth, but love the people they are walking with.  My mom turned 87 this month, and my dad's 91st birthday will be in just a handful of weeks.  He's been gone from this earth for 79 weeks, but he's never farther than a thought away.  I find myself laughing at memories, and thoughts of how he must be shaking his head at our ineptness, and in just a flash, I find myself crying again - because I miss his wisdom, his concern for me and my children, and his personal ways of just taking care of my mom - who he was married to for over 68 years.  As much as I try to fill that gap, I find myself lacking - and wishing I could do more for her - be available 24 hours a day and make things "easy" for her.  Then I realize that we are all very blessed to be in the same county, and able to sit on the same pew every weekend for church.  That hasn't happened since I was in junior high myself.  (Which brings me back to seeing Amy today - and realizing how fast time races - and how many people I have lost track of, or not spent enough time with.)

So in 3 weeks, I'll be in Houston - for the day - to meet up with some of my high school friends for lunch.  It might sound like a long day to some of you - not necessary - even a beating.  But after going 35 years without seeing many of them, I don't want to spend one more year missing out on their lives, and our memories.   I miss the educator's schedule - having 10 weeks off to go and do what I wish with my own schedule.  I miss the freedom of spending the days leisurely catching up with doctor's appointments, cleaning out closets and traveling places on a whim.  But the flip side of that is that I get to spend 5 days a week with people that I know have the same interests and dreams that I do - mentoring teens and working for "Greater Things that are yet to come, and for greater things to still be done in this city".   A good friend gave birth to her daughter this month, and another good friend will bring a son into this world and into their family next month.  I am truly blessed to be part of both of their lives, and to watch so many of my "younger friends" as they parent their children into being the kind of teens and adults that they have become - law abiding adults, who love each other, love their children, love MY children, and love me.  It's all about that joy again - the joy of knowing we all desire to walk in the truth. 

Family ~ Close and Extended ~ and Tattoos!!

Joel, Tyson, Mom and I have been at a "resort" (i.e. campers and cabins) on Lake Buchanan - near Austin, TX the last two days - just hanging out with family.  Cassidy and Jeremy have been at a different "family reunion"... with Jeremy's family as his younger brother graduates from Mountain View High School, Mountain View, Arkansas.  Yes, there is LOTS of food and drink, LOTS of water to swim and boat in but most of all, there have been LOTS of laughter and "remember when" times.

I am grandchild #3 of 7 - from my mother's parents, and although I never lived in the same town as the others, I find myself wanting to make time to connect with them more than once a year now - (well, at least the girls!)  Although most of us have reached the Fifty year mark, we are missing one - grandchild #6, who died a couple of years ago.  In talking about her tonight, many memories came back - of her growing up - of her difficulties, and of her children.  Her two sisters (grandchildren #2 and 5) were the ones I was closest to when we were growing up - and even today, I feel sad that I wasn't close to Robin - the one we've lost.  I wonder how things would have been different today if she were still here.
Which leads me to.. how different am I?  Or even more difficult to answer:   how accepting am I?

When parents age, we recognize it easily, but when we see ourselves becoming "the next generation", it somehow looks so much different!  How did we get to be so old, and thus responsible? :)
As a side note to the seriousness of most of my posts:  Here are just a couple of pieces of conversations today that keep me smiling - and asking myself.. "How did I get THIS old?"
1) An aunt was talking of my cousin losing one of her "ear screws".  Does anyone else remember before pierced ears, you actually "screwed" the earrings on?
2)  One of my mom's cousins is battling Alzheimers - stage 7 of 10.  His daughter watches every move he makes.  But with a skip in her step, they take the boat out to go fishing.  When he's frustrated that the minnow isn't on the hook, she notices it's not ON the hook - it's on the shank.  But smoothly, she takes the line to "fix the problem" yet tells her dad she's just untangling a knot when he asks what's she's doing.  What a dedicated daughter - who wishes she could "fix" all of his problems.
3)  Grandchild #2 (see above) is going on a mission trip to Ecuador this summer (with her 17 year old son).  At the "meeting time" this afternoon, we vote on where to give a charitable contribution.  This year, we are supporting an orphanage in Ecuador.  Way to go, TJ and Michael!
4) We have a "silent auction" - where we bring items to sell, and the money buys the meat for the potluck, we vote to donate part of it to charity (see #3 above) and it pays for renting the "rec hall" where we meet at the "resort".  I have some extremely talented cousins!! :)  Tim welds a waist high "wok" and stand - for attaching a propane tank to cook outside (we're having eggs and sausage tomorrow for breakfast!).  Ryan wood burns the Texas state seal into a beautiful piece of stained wood.  Each of those items sells for $100 and up!  Terri makes jewelry, Dan makes Salsa, Beth makes jean aprons, Gladys makes potholders and a baby quilt, Debra, Desi and Delaina tie-dye tshirts, and Diane bakes cookies.  Many other items are displayed and the memories last longer than the shopping.  On one of the pieces that involved FIERCE bidding, Brian ends it all with the bid "I surrender."  Way to hang in there Brian.  But your other treasures put a huge dent in your wallet (or should I say, your wife's wallet?)!
5)  The differences in generations becomes more and more evident every year.  We take pictures of each generation, and the older one (my parent's age) gets smaller and smaller.  Time marches on.  So we start with the oldest, then move to my age, then to the ones that include my children's age (which by the way, Tyson is the oldest of that group, and Cassidy is #3) and end with 3 litttle ones - from 4 down to 2.  The funniest part is that one of the "20 something" cousins states when it's their turn... "Now for all the ink....."  (i.e. tattoos).

That one statement says so much.  It takes me back to the wild things WE did at their age - and how our parents rolled their eyes at our choices for clothing and jewelry.  Imagine how much they are shaking their heads at all of the tattoos on their grandchildren! :)  But hearing some aunts (and my mom) talk afterwards, the sweetest words came ~ "I guess it doesn't matter how many tattoos they have - they come visit me and they love me."

I'm beaming - and bursting with awe - that 80 something year old ladies are able to express their displeasure with their grandchildren's "body art" but able to overlook their personal preferences because they love each other.  I'm proud to be a "Talley"... never listed on my birth certificate - never in my name, but always in my bloodline.  I want to be as accepting, and as accepted as our children.  The younger generation spends their money to come here - to this "resort".  They take off work, they cook, they clean, they are responsible - and they enjoy spending time with the "old folks".  And these "old folks" adore them, and the time we DO spend together.  The saddest part is that it's only one weekend a year.  So until next year - it's been great.  Now if we can only slow down that "body art" piece of the reunion.....
(Dedicated to Tyson, Meg, Cassidy, Ryan (Toph), Desi, Delaina, Michael, Wes, Andy, Nicole, Shaun,  Natalie and Erica ~ the generation we will leave this reunion to..)

Post Mother's Day

Being a mom has so many dimensions, and it's one of those "positions" that you have to experience to really understand.  The one recurring thought tho' among all mothers is probably "I wish I could fix... (fill in the blank)".
Recently, I've come to the wide eye realization that no matter how old your children are, you still worry about them, and no matter how old YOU become, your mom still worries about you.  At least that's true of mothers and daughter ~ or maybe of my grandmother and my mom, then my mom and me, and now for Cassidy and me.

When the hustle of the world slows down, I think back to times I know my mom prayed for me, for my children and the decisions we made, the choices we still face, and the people we were deciding and choosing with.  And I begin to pray for my children, and the arrows the world throws at them.

First child is in the process of moving ~ again.  Oh he's moved several times, but this one will probably mean more than all the others combined.  He moved forward 2 years ago - to a future he was so anxious and happy about.  Now he is moving back - with us for the interim until the next apartment is ready, but in a way, moving back to start again.  I remember the feeling of leaving behind memories - good ones and horrible ones, and I pray that he leaves all of the horrible ones on the curb with the trash he leaves behind.  A hurting and heavy heart weighs more than all of the furniture in an apartment ever could.  The mother in me wants to "fix it", but I can't.  Only the one who created him can heal the hurts and mend the heart.

While four of us head south Friday to my mom's family reunion (Joel, Tyson, my mom and I), the second child and her husband head northeast to a graduation.  What an exciting time for them - to be with Jeremy's family as they all celebrate Jordan's high school transition.  But with the miles traveled comes another heavy heart, as storms are on the horizon.  Every person has their personal "fear" and the second child is physically ill over being in storms - especially when driving in them - especially when the vehicle is a truck - especially when the last time they drove to the northeast part of Arkansas in the truck, in a storm, they encountered a slippery road on a curve and met a steel pole.  Another time I wish I could "fix it", but I couldn't then, and I can't "fix" the weather this trip either.  Again, only the One who created her, and who creates the storms can calm the storm within. 

So as both of my children face a storm, I pray that they know they are loved - not only by me, their mother, but by the Father who gave them to me and knows the number of hairs on their head. And as I try to be strong for them, I realize how weak I really am, and how much at times like this, I see how strong my own mother was for me - when I faced the storms within me.  Being with her Sunday, on "Mother's Day" reminded me how precious all of our days are - with our mothers.  I ache for friends who have lost their own moms, or who have mom's that haven't seen the depth of their calling.  And I ache for my own mother, who still misses my grandmother.  Life is strange like that, isn't it?  We want so much to have something on earth that adds up to more than just dust.  Furniture, dishes, trucks and graduations ~ they will all mean nothing one day.  But what about mothers?  Mothers are a different breed - it's more than a position, or a job.  It is not to be accepted lightly for it is a blessing that can not be measured.

I love my mother, and I love being a mom.  I only wish I could do more than love them.  I wish I could make all the eyesight problems, the moving hurts and the storms of life disappear.  I can't.  But I'll always want to do more than I can.  Help me Lord to realize that I can't - but you CAN.

Continue to remind me of your promise:  as David wrote in Psalm 121:

I look to the hills! Where will I find help?  It will come from the LORD,

 who created the heavens and the earth.  The LORD is your protector,

he won't go to sleep or let you stumble. The protector of Israel

doesn't doze or ever get drowsy.

The LORD is your protector, there at your right side to shade you from the sun.

You won't be harmed by the sun during the day or by the moon at night.

The LORD will protect you and keep you safe from all dangers.

The LORD will protect you now and always wherever you go.

Thank you Lord, for that promise.  When my mind wanders (mostly late at night), it's reassuring to know you are awake with me - and will keep me upright.  You know the mother's prayer - for our children - for your children - to follow you with confidence.  Help me to model that better. 

Wildflowers and a Wedding

Aren't the best trips the ones you plan at the last minute? That's the kind I've enjoyed the most the past 15 months.  After January 9, 2009, there have been many of those trips:  some very hard and some very fun.  Then there was one in January this year that was VERY hard and still VERY fun.  (Unloading a car full of my parent's "treasures" out at the ranch - after midnight - in the dark - in 14 degree temperature - with only a sweatshirt for warmth - unable to see just where we were placing those boxes inside the totally dark house.)  The one factor that remains consistent is that these trips have involved Cassidy and me.
This past weekend, our original plan was a day trip to Austin to a wedding.  But Thursday (2 days prior) it turned into a 30 hour, 700 mile road trip - traipsing (def : to walk or travel about without apparent plan but with or without a purpose) around Central Texas. :)

After a L-O-N-G very delayed trip (due to encountering 5 separate vehicle accidents on I-35), we saw many varied fields of flowers, stopped to take pictures and ended up at the Monument Cafe in Georgetown at 9:30 for dinner.   And guess what was going on in Georgetown?  The Red Poppy Festival was in full swing and we heard a bit of the band "Rotel and the Hot Tomatoes", while driving around (and around) the town.

Saturday morning we hit Highway 29 due west to Llano - to the 521 Ranch.  A stop at the granite "lot" procuring a piece of granite to place at Trooper's grave and we were on the way down FM 2323 - one of the premier roads for Texas wildflower sightings.  Eighteen miles of lush green pasture land, full green branches on trees, full ponds, bluebonnets, yellow bitterweed, and red Indian Paintbush flowers had us smiling from ear to ear. We could only keep saying, "Don't you know Papa would be loving all this?"

Realizing our time was fleeting, we "flew" back to our LaQuinta home in Georgetown, jumped in the shower and were all "made up" for the wedding in less than 40 minutes.  YES!  Two females:  from jeans and pasture clothes to wedding attire in 40 minutes - arriving at the wedding 20 minutes away, with 4 minutes to spare. I don't know if you and your daughter have these moments, but it is so fitting for Cassidy and me!

The groom was a dear friend of Cassidy's from college, who I am honored to know too.  It was fun for Cassidy to see several of her Harding friends and Shantih sisters - and in a blink of an eye - we were off again. ;)

Since we were on FM 1431 - it only made sense to keep driving west a couple of miles and tour our old neighborhood in Cedar Park.  Funny how after 15 years, some things never changed, except for our house.  The subdivision was the same - the pool was still there (sans the high diving board - which we both laughed at it being Tyson's fault ~ as he had several injuries there, including a broken nose and 911 call - from jumping off said high diving board), the streets were the same.  The 10-12 foot tall fort that my Daddy built from scrap lumber was still in the backyard.  THAT surprised us, as we're sure the house has been sold more than once since we moved. After a swing by Cassidy and Tyson's elementary school, we were "on the road again".  Noticing there was a huge construction project on our way south on I-35W, we made a detour and came home via I-35E, dropping Cassidy off at her apartment before 10:00 pm.

What a trip - more memories, more laughter and more pictures.  The trips that Cassidy and I make are indescrible - and we are thankful and blessed that we have husbands who understand (the best they can) the importance of these trips.  I've wondered where it really began - on mission trips when she was in junior high?  Trips I made to visit her those 4 years at Harding?  Trips back to Llano after my Daddy died?  The most fantastic trip to New York City?  The answer:  Yes - to all of those.  Each trip has been another beginning - a new chapter - another path on our journey.

I realize the uniqueness of our relationship - and I treasure each moment of those trips.  She can "bark" a statement ("put that down!" when I'm trying to clean up the hotel room before running out the door to the wedding yesterday) and I know where it comes from.  I can drive on the "road bumps" on the road and she laughs.  We know our heart, and each other's.   

Many families have riches and elegant houses.  Many families have large gatherings and holiday traditions that involve a full year of planning.  Many families have time shares on beaches or condos at ski slopes around the country.  For us, our house may not be elegant, but we are rich.  Our family is small (being an only child, our gatherings maxes out now at 6), but we love our "stockings at Christmas".  The closest we get to a full family vacation is my mom's family reunion one weekend at a RV park in May, but the time we spend is made perfect.  And the trips that Cassidy and I make are one of a kind special.  I wouldn't trade one of those trips for all the beach condo's or snow skiing in the world.

Thank you, Lord ~ for wildflowers, weddings and family.  In very unique times, all three come together into one wild trip.

(**Line of the trip:  "Pick and Choose Later!" - by Cassidy as I was trying to decide which flower(s) to pick from our ranch as a memento.  She grabbed a handful of color - roots and all.  Hmm.. what a statement of the whole trip!  The memories were so many that I'm still "picking and choosing"!**)